


Ten Days

by elirwen



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 10:01:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6850207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elirwen/pseuds/elirwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Arthur have to deal with the aftermath of Merlin's abduction.</p><p>(Non/con is NOT Merlin/Arthur.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten Days

“Arthur?” he asks, the phone pressed to his ear.

He needs to be completely sure. He recognized the voice as Arthur’s but right now he doesn’t believe his own senses. Not when he can barely hold the phone steady with his whole body shaking and panic still coursing through his veins.

“Merlin?” Arthur’s voice comes back, urgent, shocked. “Where are you? Are you hurt?”

Merlin nearly drops the phone, his body going numb with short-lived relief. He leans heavily against the glass wall of the phone booth.

“Merlin, talk to me!”

“I’m… not hurt. The street’s name is Camomile.”

“What happened to you? Where have you been?”

“I…” the memories flood his mind; his throat constricts.

“Okay, fine, it doesn’t matter. Just stay put. Can you do that?”

Merlin nods without thinking.

“Merlin, are you there?”

“Yeah.” 

“Can you see some café or a shop? Somewhere you’d be safe?”

Everything is weirdly fuzzy, the whole world turning grey. Faintly he hears his name being called but even that is gone now. Then everything slips away.

 

~x~

 

“I think he’s waking up,” Merlin hears, feeling fingers at the side of his neck. 

He blinks his eyes open, staring at the blurry face of some stranger as it comes into focus. 

“He’s awake,” another voice says. “The ambulance is on its way,” it adds a few seconds later. 

He glances in the direction of the second voice, his eyes landing on a phone booth.

“Arthur,” the name leaves his lips. 

“He’s asking for you,” the woman in the booth says.

“You’ll be okay,” the man above him says, smiling reassuringly when Merlin looks his way. 

 

~x~ 

He finds out he was missing for 10 days. He thought it was much longer. 

He’s asked questions, prodded and examined in dozens of ways. There are no visible injuries except for where he hurt his hand getting rid of the magic suppressor. The police officers look at him as if he’s lying when he talks about what he remembers from his abduction. 

Arthur’s hand holding his is the only thing keeping him together while he talks, but it’s killing him at the same time as he describes being helpless, bound, and used. 

He still doesn’t know how he managed to get rid of the suppressing bracelet. They’re not supposed to break. Ever. Yet, this one did. He describes how he felt part of his magic come back. How he used it to free his limbs and unlock the door. The memories of fear as he sneaked through the quiet flat, stealing some money from the penny jar in the kitchen, send him into a panic attack.

The officers leave and he’s given some medication through the IV drip while clinging to Arthur and trying not to think about Mordred.

 

~x~

 

The shame sets in.

He’s weak, probably not even able to stand, yet all he wants is a shower. He wants to wash away every last remnant of captivity from his skin. He wants to rub it raw until it’s red and aching.

“I’m sorry,” are the first words he says after long minutes of silence when neither of them knows what to say. 

Arthur looks at him, confused and lost. 

“He knew we had a fight. I don’t know how, but he knew. He must have spiked my drink. If I didn’t leave that night…” 

“No, stop it. It was not your fault. He abducted you. He’s to blame.”

Arthur presses his lips to Merlin’s hand and doesn’t pull away. Warmth spreads over his skin with each Arthur’s exhale. It’s oddly soothing. 

Minutes tick by.

“I’m sorry too,” Arthur says.

 

~x~ 

 

Mordred is found and taken into custody.

Merlin listens to the detective talking to him about collecting evidence, court proceedings, their need for more detailed testimony from Merlin. Arthur is the one to react and ask questions while Merlin feels numbness spread through his limbs.

 

~x~ 

 

Arthur takes leave from work to help Merlin cope. He makes sure Merlin eats, takes him out on walks and generally tries his best to be a supportive boyfriend. 

Merlin suffers from mood swings, feels tired all the time, doesn’t feel like doing anything at all. He’s thankful to Arthur for all he does for him and apologizes every single day for all the hurtful things he says when his mood turns particularly dark. 

He goes to therapy sessions twice a week. It’s hard to open about what happened, to pour all the shame out. Every single time he’s sitting in the waiting room, he tells himself he’ll finally say it all. Every single time he chickens out.

The therapist knows he’s not telling him everything, but he doesn’t push too hard. 

“Let your partner help. Don’t shut him out,” he tells him at the end of every session and Merlin nods and leaves.

 

~x~

 

The trial starts in a week. Merlin doesn’t feel ready.

 

~x~

 

“You’ll do fine,” Arthur says, adjusting Merlin’s tie. 

They have two more hours before they need to leave, but Merlin is restless. He wants the trial to be over already and it hasn’t even begun yet. 

“In no time at all the case will be closed and Mordred will be put behind bars for a very long time.”

Merlin spent a few hours with a lawyer Arthur hired, going over his testimony and getting ready for nasty questions from their opponent. He should be ready but instead he’s starting to question himself.

“I enjoyed what he did to me,” he says suddenly. “I mean… He was gentle. He never really hurt me. I got hard every single time,” his voice breaks, tears sliding down his cheeks. “I, uh… I didn’t fight the orgasms and they felt really good.”

“Merlin…” Arthur says, shock evident in his voice.

“You were nothing but perfect the past few weeks, but I don’t deserve it. I cheated on you.”

Arthur pulls him into a hug, refusing to let go as Merlin fights against the hold.

“I’m so sorry,” Merlin sobs, relaxing into the embrace.

“None of it was your fault,” Arthur says, caressing Merlin’s back. “You didn’t cheat on me. You didn’t want him to use your body against you.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you,” Merlin says, feeling wrung out and incredibly tired but also lighter than he’s felt in weeks.

 

~x~

 

Seeing Mordred in the court room is a complete shock even when he tried to prepare himself for it. He has to physically check his wrists for the absence of suppressors to stave off an impending anxiety attack. 

He can’t stop his body from shaking through his whole testimony though. There are moments when his voice fails him and he has to take a moment before continuing. The judge reprimands Mordred’s lawyer when he tries to urge Merlin on for which Merlin is eternally thankful. 

He doesn’t know how he manages the few steps from the witness stand to Arthur’s side, but somehow he does and soon they are leaving the room and the building behind, at least until their presence is needed again.

 

~x~ 

 

Mordred is sentenced to 25 years in prison. 

 

~x~

 

Their relationship never goes back to how things were before Merlin’s kidnapping. There are still times when Merlin blames himself for what happened. Arthur still worries about Merlin’s safety. They learn to live with it, to help each other.

“In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health,” they recite their vows. 

They know they can handle anything fate has in store for them.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know why I needed to write this... Hope it wasn't totally horrible piece of writing.
> 
> [My tumblr.](http://elirwen.tumblr.com)


End file.
